"Our Spot" (Where do we go from here?!?)

Been thinking about you lately, wondering how you've been or where you've been

Since last we spoke, no jokes, I don't even know where to begin
Unless the 2-way texts or that "IM" mess count for something
Other than feeble attempts to say, "I tried..."
Shiiiit, I cried at the loss of my friend...ship!
Feelings sunk to depths deep as an abyss.
Mis-calculations or coordinates wouldn't let us transcend
Should've read the signs; "Our Spot" on the block was a Dead-End.
Blinded by the sunset & beautiful view, the fast life seemed slow.
While we spoke of our dreams over the freeways below "Our Spot." Now where do we go?
I remember when 1 + Me = You, but the New Math equation had "U" equaling "2"
(And that's not including the addition of dude)
But months have gone by, though it seems like years
Cause I'm feel'in kinda salty, or maybe it's the taste of those tears
Dried over time leaving trails of white lines
From my eyes; now bloodshot and stinging from the lie,
Or the Thai, or that Brown Sugar, maybe
It used to be "Ma," promoted to "Mommy" and "Baby..."
Boy have things changed, strange from the start
How can someone so close, feel distant, yet remain in the heart, soul, and mind
Which reminds me too, in our "Matrix" I'm Ne-Yo and just wonder
"...Do You?"
Ever think of Me anymore?
Or less. Comfort I guess, to know the answer to questions unsaid
So don't leave this unread, consider my view. Hear me out at least,
And keep on groov'in to our music, & moving to each beat, & I'll embrace each word in this
my last Peace...

Ups & Downs...

Haven't seen you in a while, or heard your voice. Whether by choice or accident it's evident

From where I'm standing, things ain't changed. Sure they're different; but still the same.
Remains of the day flash by like Polaroid pictures, which was
Why I was able to look back and put things in order, sort-of, at least what I wanted to see
We go up and down like a see-saw with no inbetween, or balance. So how can we stand level
I try not to creep or dig deep like a shovel; to stay planted and grow
But as the blossoms bloom, I'm left alone in tha room thinking...
Unable to listen to a song, watch a movie, or hear a protest without YOU beoming a part of the equation.
Is this love? I don't know' cause I call it infatuation.
Try my hardest to convince myself, "That's it!"
But I can't fool the heart or stomach that turns when I hear you unhappy or upset, that's what I get
I let you slip, fall through my grasp; now reaching for air...
I used to be able to touch your hips, thighs, & hair
To relax you the way that it relaxed me. To see;
Better, To "feel" the connection transferred by touch.
And now for lack of better words, "...Not so much!"
So, yeah this sucks, and feelings rain down on me like Ms. Scott.
Thought I was slick cause I'm a Pisces, but still got caught-up in your "net"-work of emotion
Unable to bypass the encryption, which in turn cancelled my trial subscription
To this depiction of you! Exactly who, do I think I am?
Just a man trying to make things right
Can't see you during the day, just a vision of my dreams at night and
In life. Either way it's a fantasy of what we could be, or could've been
Then again, you tried to persuade through games we played & I still wouldn't give in
Stubborn like an old man, barely pushing 30. It hurts me to be thirsty for, "...your love."
So I take sips of this bitter-sweet concoction, intoxicated, faded like my options
Cause I still listen, just see through you now, a human apparition
From the past and future? One can only pray.
I leave these things to Higher Beings, In hopes it will all make sense someday...

You Remind Me...

I tried to watch the sunset; but the light blinded my eyes.
So I shut them and imagined it the way I imagine you when emotions run high.
A perfect picture painted, framed in my mind, with hues of you and shades of we
Beautifully designed, but never quite complete; left to the imagination of what could be.
What is this picture, title withheld, has the artist quit? Or has he simply failed
To embrace the brush with love and respect rather than lust.
What must be done when colors run & blur like an oasis through the heat
Consumed by defeat cause the love's incomplete and just lingers away.
Thought I was on point like those fingers showing blame, is it me?
Really; what does it matter? I had her, past tense now. I just struggle with the thought of how, WE never made it out. So I continue to make it up, but it doesn't make it better.
Time's supposed to heal, feel the scars that remain
When I stroke & caress her delicate frame, strong through years of trials and
My tribulations, stem from plutonic relations; at least that's what I believe
Verbal debris caught in your mental sieve, never forgotten
Like a photo of our past, present, the future. If I could go back & get on track I'd sprint.
Not running from the truth, just searching for an answer
Like loose change in a booth, cover any cost, this lover's loss
Embossed like a seal showing authenticity, our pains, pleasures, & souls ubiquity...
How quickly we forget the beautiful shit when a hurricane hits
No laughter, just uncomfortable silence, the quiet that comes after the storm
Soaked with seclusion, wanting to win you back but apparently I'm losing
Cause I sit here alone writing lines in a poem that represent you & us
A place we've never lived; only visited and vacationed.
Double-booked reservations had me wait'n on stand-by; and now I wonder
Can we take flight, or are we permanently grounded?
Looking for love in all the wrong places until I finally found it.
In all the wrong places, didn't like how that sounded.
Regrets remind me of memories; remind me of the silly things, reminds me of LOVE we didn't bring...together.