Sideways...

If 2 wrongs don't make it right, then why at night does it feel so nice to be trife?
When things in this life should be fine, or at least kept quiet
Maybe next lifetime; but not quite, we only live once...
I mean, that's what they say. But who are they? Or, who are we to make laws or rules of engagement
Only to be bent & twisted cause we didn't like what they represented, straight up & down like 6 o'clock. 
So we looked sideways most days, head cocked like a dog trying to understand & better comprehend
This love language that's as strange as 2 strangers that've only met once or 2 times a year;
Quarterly at best, only to hear for the 1st time a sign of rising interest-rates with residual returns.
If left untouched, allowed to grow, who knows what might become; rather became
What is this strange-fruit? Forbidden to touch or eat & such, tempting as it may be
Repercussions beat loudly, throbbing, pounding to gett'em to march to a different beat
With new music to lay to, or tracks to fall back & retreat. Over 6 yrs. old & still not allowed in the street 
To walk, cross, or play. Even under the circumstances we took chances. Blind from wine & seductive glances
Subtle touches, strokes of hair, deliberate brushes of bodies now ensnared. Engulfed by flames
Not wanting to combust; but burned just the same when we felt the other's touch...
In this game of House or cat & mouse with no one to instruct. 
Physical deposits & overnight withdraws made emotions difficult to deduct. Seems we're Fucked...Literally.
Not figuratively speaking. She needed the bond to weaken,"Soooo hey, by the way...
I'm slipping away for the weekend. There's this beacon that I'm seeking, wanna feel how it shines. 
Cause me following you is like the blind leading the blind. See, I gave you ALL of me; you just took what you needed
My expectations were exceeded, though no remorse, I fell hard from the force!
I can no longer 'Be By Your Side' like Sade, I need to be the main course..."
And with that being said, the end became my beginning. I had wanted a friend, that's all I intended. 
Now cuts have been mended, while scars remain to explain the tragedy of "We"
Stained souls console what the eyes can't see, the mind won't forget, so the heart just bleeds
Steady streams of dreams soaked deep in these sheets while we sleep-sideways. 
Some days, Sun rays distort jaded visions of this division, so talks lean towards awk-"words"
That keep feelings hidden; but doesn't numb the pain, it just changes how it's given
So I'll just pray until that day that I'm FORGIVEN...

"Our Spot" (Where do we go from here?!?)

Been thinking about you lately, wondering how you've been or where you've been

Since last we spoke, no jokes, I don't even know where to begin
Unless the 2-way texts or that "IM" mess count for something
Other than feeble attempts to say, "I tried..."
Shiiiit, I cried at the loss of my friend...ship!
Feelings sunk to depths deep as an abyss.
Mis-calculations or coordinates wouldn't let us transcend
Should've read the signs; "Our Spot" on the block was a Dead-End.
Blinded by the sunset & beautiful view, the fast life seemed slow.
While we spoke of our dreams over the freeways below "Our Spot." Now where do we go?
I remember when 1 + Me = You, but the New Math equation had "U" equaling "2"
(And that's not including the addition of dude)
But months have gone by, though it seems like years
Cause I'm feel'in kinda salty, or maybe it's the taste of those tears
Dried over time leaving trails of white lines
From my eyes; now bloodshot and stinging from the lie,
Or the Thai, or that Brown Sugar, maybe
It used to be "Ma," promoted to "Mommy" and "Baby..."
Boy have things changed, strange from the start
How can someone so close, feel distant, yet remain in the heart, soul, and mind
Which reminds me too, in our "Matrix" I'm Ne-Yo and just wonder
"...Do You?"
Ever think of Me anymore?
Or less. Comfort I guess, to know the answer to questions unsaid
So don't leave this unread, consider my view. Hear me out at least,
And keep on groov'in to our music, & moving to each beat, & I'll embrace each word in this
my last Peace...

Ups & Downs...

Haven't seen you in a while, or heard your voice. Whether by choice or accident it's evident

From where I'm standing, things ain't changed. Sure they're different; but still the same.
Remains of the day flash by like Polaroid pictures, which was
Why I was able to look back and put things in order, sort-of, at least what I wanted to see
We go up and down like a see-saw with no inbetween, or balance. So how can we stand level
I try not to creep or dig deep like a shovel; to stay planted and grow
But as the blossoms bloom, I'm left alone in tha room thinking...
Unable to listen to a song, watch a movie, or hear a protest without YOU beoming a part of the equation.
Is this love? I don't know' cause I call it infatuation.
Try my hardest to convince myself, "That's it!"
But I can't fool the heart or stomach that turns when I hear you unhappy or upset, that's what I get
I let you slip, fall through my grasp; now reaching for air...
I used to be able to touch your hips, thighs, & hair
To relax you the way that it relaxed me. To see;
Better, To "feel" the connection transferred by touch.
And now for lack of better words, "...Not so much!"
So, yeah this sucks, and feelings rain down on me like Ms. Scott.
Thought I was slick cause I'm a Pisces, but still got caught-up in your "net"-work of emotion
Unable to bypass the encryption, which in turn cancelled my trial subscription
To this depiction of you! Exactly who, do I think I am?
Just a man trying to make things right
Can't see you during the day, just a vision of my dreams at night and
In life. Either way it's a fantasy of what we could be, or could've been
Then again, you tried to persuade through games we played & I still wouldn't give in
Stubborn like an old man, barely pushing 30. It hurts me to be thirsty for, "...your love."
So I take sips of this bitter-sweet concoction, intoxicated, faded like my options
Cause I still listen, just see through you now, a human apparition
From the past and future? One can only pray.
I leave these things to Higher Beings, In hopes it will all make sense someday...

You Remind Me...

I tried to watch the sunset; but the light blinded my eyes.
So I shut them and imagined it the way I imagine you when emotions run high.
A perfect picture painted, framed in my mind, with hues of you and shades of we
Beautifully designed, but never quite complete; left to the imagination of what could be.
What is this picture, title withheld, has the artist quit? Or has he simply failed
To embrace the brush with love and respect rather than lust.
What must be done when colors run & blur like an oasis through the heat
Consumed by defeat cause the love's incomplete and just lingers away.
Thought I was on point like those fingers showing blame, is it me?
Really; what does it matter? I had her, past tense now. I just struggle with the thought of how, WE never made it out. So I continue to make it up, but it doesn't make it better.
Time's supposed to heal, feel the scars that remain
When I stroke & caress her delicate frame, strong through years of trials and
My tribulations, stem from plutonic relations; at least that's what I believe
Verbal debris caught in your mental sieve, never forgotten
Like a photo of our past, present, the future. If I could go back & get on track I'd sprint.
Not running from the truth, just searching for an answer
Like loose change in a booth, cover any cost, this lover's loss
Embossed like a seal showing authenticity, our pains, pleasures, & souls ubiquity...
How quickly we forget the beautiful shit when a hurricane hits
No laughter, just uncomfortable silence, the quiet that comes after the storm
Soaked with seclusion, wanting to win you back but apparently I'm losing
Cause I sit here alone writing lines in a poem that represent you & us
A place we've never lived; only visited and vacationed.
Double-booked reservations had me wait'n on stand-by; and now I wonder
Can we take flight, or are we permanently grounded?
Looking for love in all the wrong places until I finally found it.
In all the wrong places, didn't like how that sounded.
Regrets remind me of memories; remind me of the silly things, reminds me of LOVE we didn't bring...together.

The Recipe...

"Sometimes I wanna be your lova, Sometimes I wanna be your Friend
Sometimes I wanna hug you, hold hands, slow dance while the record spins..."
But around we go, & I just don't know why I can't comprehend
What makes us "We," the recipe is more than you and me
We gotta lot of love, kisses, hugs, and a bunch of history.
Mixed in our raves and rants, a sultry dance, a bit of animosity.
Then let it stew. Who knew our "Inner"courses would be such comfort food?!
Yet belemic tendancies worried me and made you sick,
Not so religious when we did this, as time lapsed
We tried to fast; but afta days and weeks we still would seek the comfort of that "food."
Sneakin' bites, late-night nibbles to satisfy the yearning,
Rather, the burning in my gut cause I hunger for a love that feeds my soul...

Soul food is how she tastes, is how she feels, is how she looks,
A recipe that will forever be etched in "My Life's Cookbook."
Not on loose leaf pages, or bound in corporate hard back covers,
As lovers we roast until heated & our juices flow. Slow drips from the corner of lips,
To chins. Spicey, yet sweet as sticks of cinnamon.
Seasoned with laughter and tears that have flavored the years of preparation or practice,
The fact is, what we lacked is, a name for our Meal...


-Rco

It's My Turn (Lyrical Medley)

“It’s my turn, to totally understand, and watch you walk out of my life and not do a damn thing…”
I mean, it’s been done, we’ve reduced 2 to 1, not AS one, but in the Cingular form
Torn, broken up like a cellular call in an insufficient zone
Frustrated as I waited for a signal or tone to get back, in fact, what we lacked
Was each other, one another, undercover or in the open
No longer hoping, I, reminisce and miss your soft kissssss…Is
This where we’re supposed to be after 365 degrees? Full circle and then some;
Was I the one? Or you for me? Feelings expressed through spoken word, lyrics, and CD’s
Physically emotions rise and subside, like the tide on our own private beach
Kept each other in arms reach to feel safe, like a “tale” we chase getting dizzy
Feeling out of place. A waste? Wouldn’t trade it for any deal
Mustafa told me, “Love’s got the power to heal…”
So I must be hurt, for what it’s worth you’re all that I am
I follow your “Burning Star” through the “Maze of Man,” overstand?
Or at least make the connection of, shared affection, on the same path
In different directions inevitably bumpin’ heads over the same questions
Rhetorical as they seem, an uncomfortable silence has fallen between.
Now I feel a void, not fill a void; but FEEL a void, see what I mean?
Words sound the same sometimes misconstrued, who knew, “One plus Me, just equals You…!”
Should be true, though I have to admit that, “maybe I’m selfish; I want you to myself I can’t help it”
Used to be “Halfcrazy” now “Sunny Days” let’s us “Just Be Friends…”; yet my soul knows “The Truth”
“And you took it as a truth,” the existence of THIS is living proof, even if we dream,
“Cause Oooh wee, Baby you’ve re-defined my vision of love, it seems…”

Questions...?

“Do you miss me?” You inquire, Better stated, “I have missed you…”
The question that brings comfort when answered sincerely, “I do.”
But why do I miss you, let me count the ways. Had this, been a love poem I would reminisce
About the days When, we did this or you said that, we laughed and we cried
A mathematical relation bound by our order of operations
We rise exponentially to levels multiplied, uncommon denominators unable to divide
I, wanted you by my side in addition to my pride so, I subtracted 1 away from 2.
Two, being me and you, & what remained I still can’t explain, cause
The equation had complications, we both took for granted and
Damn it, feelings went sideways or at least got slanted
Then we raved and we ranted, and complained about our situation
We kept going and going with no particular destination, just along for the ride
But even that got bumpy so we stopped. Dropped like a bad habit you didn’t want to kick
From a love/hate struggle to this plutonic bubble, blown gently with soft lips and…
Yeah I miss, and I wish, WE could’ve maintained; But as Summer turns to Fall
All things must change, yet stay the same. So we squabble and pass blame
Like a game played at recess, Unless just this once we can make amends
Break away from broken lovers and remain close as friends…
So do I miss you? Not really, I miss US, the way things used to be
When the tears were from laughing making it hard for us to breathe,
Now we take breaths and hold’em in ‘til we’re red, from miscommunications & words that were said
But I’m saying, “Can’t we just get along?” this path we’ve paved, cobble stone covered, smooth to the touch
Roughly traveled by lovers, or friends and such. This much I know
Though plainly stated, losing you has lost me and basically I hate it!!!

What If Love...

What if love was everything we thought it should be
You know like calling to say, “I love you,” or two-waying 1-4-3.
(Though) I still don’t know what that means but apparently it’s love
So we’ll just leave it at that and get back, but…
What if love was candle lit dinners, chocolate desserts, and hot oils
Rubbed all over your Baawdy…Slow deliberate kisses from your forehead
To your neck, through those slanted slopes, down to the path that leads to caverns
Rarely explored by such methods, yo’ check this…
What if love was warm showers, scents of lavender flowers, fingers massaged through hair
While hands massage everywhere you can reach…or touch and
What if love was so deep in fact, if you concentrated hard enough
The phone would ring and you’d be like, “Damn, did I do that?!”
“Maybe I have a 6th sense,” or maybe it’s coincidence, that love is in the air, or
What if love was long walks, on cool nights, barefoot in the warm sand
With ya love, watching the sunset hand in hand and…
What if love satisfied like a Snickers, but with half the calories and all the flavor
Of Love’s labor, more like recreation; or Re-creation of our love from past relations
Combined in time…Hours, minutes, seconds pass while we ask…
What if love was so simple like that Wu-Tang piece, or a “Complicated Melody” by India.Irie
That “we” share or at least hold tight; as if love was the bar on that roller coaster ride, with
Ups and downs, and loop de loops, excited, & nauseous, as we go through, what we go
Through for love, and love does bring fear, it brings pain, loathing, and occasionally tears
But over the years love matures and we benefit from the mutual funds of love even more.
What if love is all of these things and nothing, so we search for it blinded
What if love’s sent from above and that’s why most of us can’t find it…
What is Love?!?